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Showing posts with label Woman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Woman. Show all posts
The Top Ten Differences Between Cats & Dogs.
The Top Ten Differences Between Cats & Dogs:
10. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready.
9. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.
8. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
7. Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper.Cats might bring you a dead mouse.
6. Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap.
5. Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.
4. Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.
3. Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.
2. Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.
1. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.
Women are Equal !!!
A heartwarming story of the advances of women in achieving equality throughout the world...
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in The Middle East several years before the Gulf War. She noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.She returned to the region recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.
Ms. Walters approached one of the women and said, "This is marvelous. Can you tell the free world just what enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?"
"Land mines," said the woman.
100 Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Woman
1. Working / Earning not mandatory.
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.
3. We don't have to bother on mobile bills.
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying.
5. We don't have to stand on the queue to get tickets.
6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class.
7. We don't have to worry about the purse when we shop with men.
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work.
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates.
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips.
11. We always get place to sit when using public transport.
12. Easy to get a ride.
13. Men hold the door open for us.
14. Jewels looks good on us.
15. We lie better.
16. We're better manipulators.
17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves - you guys get the couch.
18. We always have food in the fridge.
19. We don't worry about losing our hair.
20. We always get to choose the movie.
21. We don't have to mow the lawn.
22. We don't have to take out the garbage.
23. We don't have to paint the house or walls.
24. If we need to our boyfriends just a missed call is enough.
25. We can easily show our disappointments or disapprovals.
26. We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole.
27. Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold.
28. Even strangers shows care if we are in trouble. Men have to manage themselves.
29. Men are like tiles, lay 'em right the first time you can walk all over em forever.
30. We can cry in public. Men cant.
31. We don't feel shy to cry.
32. We don have worry if we lose the fight.
33. Sweat is sexy on us.
34. We never run out of excuses.
35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often.
36. We can borrow clothes or accessories from our friends.
37. We get expensive jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.
38. We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time because men screw up so often.
39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner.
40. Women are cleaner.
41. We know how to make up stories.
42. We're better arguers.
43. We don't always have to think with our genitals.
44. We don't have to worry if we are plump. Men still like us.
45. We're better parents.
46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night.
47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing, and able men.
48. We're flexible.
49. When women get upset, we don't destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can.
50. Easy to make friendships.
51. Much easy to get a date.
52. Men have to be in uniform.
53. We can do makeup anywhere.
54. If we do heavy purchase we don't have to carry those things. Men are there.
55. It generally takes us less to get drunk.
56. We have a higher tolerance to pain.
57. We often get to cut in line (Queue).
58. Most women actually look good in short shorts - men DON'T.
59. Better tips.
60. Women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, it's rather disgusting.
61. We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarrass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public.
62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank heaven for long pants and perfume!
63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want.
64. We don't have excessive amounts of body hair.
65. We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet.
66. We don't bother if our IQ level is less. Just a smile is enough.
67. We are always smart.
68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return.
69. We don't have to lie to boast ourselves better.
70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us.
71. Women sweat less.
72. Women smell better.
73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards.
74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats.
75. We don get charged if we tease men in public.
76. We can be late to the office.
77. We don't get embarrassed when buying tampons.
78. We're better gossips.
79. We have better fashion sense.
80. We're better shoppers.
81. We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man.
82. Our friends don't pick on us if we aren't sleeping with anyone.
83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you).
84. We're all sitting on a gold mine - we know it and use it to our extreme advantage.
85. We don't have to drive when on a date.
86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just ugly.
87. We can search for hours together in a shop not necessary to buy.
88. Don't have to maintain great physique.
89. Women look better naked.
90. We know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to dancing.
91. When women are short, we're petite. When men are short, they're just short.
92. Women do less time for violent crimes.
93. Women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up.
94. There are many hands to lift us when we slip to ground. Poor men they have to get up on their own.
95. And we don't have to feel shy about falling down.
96. Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep ok then bye".
97. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood.
98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves.
99. Women are sexier.
100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it.........!
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.
3. We don't have to bother on mobile bills.
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying.
5. We don't have to stand on the queue to get tickets.
6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class.
7. We don't have to worry about the purse when we shop with men.
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work.
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates.
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips.
11. We always get place to sit when using public transport.
12. Easy to get a ride.
13. Men hold the door open for us.
14. Jewels looks good on us.
15. We lie better.
16. We're better manipulators.
17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves - you guys get the couch.
18. We always have food in the fridge.
19. We don't worry about losing our hair.
20. We always get to choose the movie.
21. We don't have to mow the lawn.
22. We don't have to take out the garbage.
23. We don't have to paint the house or walls.
24. If we need to our boyfriends just a missed call is enough.
25. We can easily show our disappointments or disapprovals.
26. We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole.
27. Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold.
28. Even strangers shows care if we are in trouble. Men have to manage themselves.
29. Men are like tiles, lay 'em right the first time you can walk all over em forever.
30. We can cry in public. Men cant.
31. We don't feel shy to cry.
32. We don have worry if we lose the fight.
33. Sweat is sexy on us.
34. We never run out of excuses.
35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often.
36. We can borrow clothes or accessories from our friends.
37. We get expensive jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.
38. We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time because men screw up so often.
39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner.
40. Women are cleaner.
41. We know how to make up stories.
42. We're better arguers.
43. We don't always have to think with our genitals.
44. We don't have to worry if we are plump. Men still like us.
45. We're better parents.
46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night.
47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing, and able men.
48. We're flexible.
49. When women get upset, we don't destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can.
50. Easy to make friendships.
51. Much easy to get a date.
52. Men have to be in uniform.
53. We can do makeup anywhere.
54. If we do heavy purchase we don't have to carry those things. Men are there.
55. It generally takes us less to get drunk.
56. We have a higher tolerance to pain.
57. We often get to cut in line (Queue).
58. Most women actually look good in short shorts - men DON'T.
59. Better tips.
60. Women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, it's rather disgusting.
61. We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarrass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public.
62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank heaven for long pants and perfume!
63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want.
64. We don't have excessive amounts of body hair.
65. We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet.
66. We don't bother if our IQ level is less. Just a smile is enough.
67. We are always smart.
68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return.
69. We don't have to lie to boast ourselves better.
70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us.
71. Women sweat less.
72. Women smell better.
73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards.
74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats.
75. We don get charged if we tease men in public.
76. We can be late to the office.
77. We don't get embarrassed when buying tampons.
78. We're better gossips.
79. We have better fashion sense.
80. We're better shoppers.
81. We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man.
82. Our friends don't pick on us if we aren't sleeping with anyone.
83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you).
84. We're all sitting on a gold mine - we know it and use it to our extreme advantage.
85. We don't have to drive when on a date.
86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just ugly.
87. We can search for hours together in a shop not necessary to buy.
88. Don't have to maintain great physique.
89. Women look better naked.
90. We know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to dancing.
91. When women are short, we're petite. When men are short, they're just short.
92. Women do less time for violent crimes.
93. Women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up.
94. There are many hands to lift us when we slip to ground. Poor men they have to get up on their own.
95. And we don't have to feel shy about falling down.
96. Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep ok then bye".
97. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood.
98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves.
99. Women are sexier.
100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it.........!
Those who don't..... ARE Donkeys !!!
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
To Conclude: From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And,
Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So,
we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together.
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
To Conclude: From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And,
Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So,
we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together.
MAN vs WOMAN
Man vs Woman
- A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item that she does not need.
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- To be happy with a man, you must love him a little and understand him a lot.
- To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
- Women somehow deteriorate overnight.
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
- A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.
- Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die.
- Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
- A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument !!!
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