Explanation of Microsoft computer messages

It says: "Press Any Key"



It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."



It says: "Press A Key"



(This one's a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.)



It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error



no. 1A4-2546512430E" It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem."



It says: "Installing program to C:\...."



It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:\windows and c:\windows\system where you'll NEVER find them."



It says: "Please insert disk 11"



It means: "Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks."



It says: "Not enough memory"



It means: "I don't CARE if you've got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K."



It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...."



It means: "... However, if you put the CD in correct side up..."



It says: "Please Wait...."



It means: "... Indefinitely."



It says: "Directory does not exist...."



It means: ".... any more. Whoops."



It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close."



It means: ".... Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work back."