Medical Miracle.

An 80 year woman married an 85-year-old man. After about six months together, the woman wasn't feeling well and she went to her doctor.



The doctor examined and said, "Congratulations Mrs. Jones, you're going to be a mother."



"Get serious doctor, I'm 80."



"I know," said the doctor, "This morning, I would have said it was impossible, but this afternoon you are a medical miracle."



"I'll be darned," she replied and stormed out of the office. She walked down the hall and around the corner to where the telephones were. In a rage, she dialed her husband. 


"Hello" she heard in his familiar halting voice.



She screamed, "You rotten SOB. You got me pregnant!"



There was a pause on the line. Finally, her husband answered, "Who's calling please?."

What a Couple !!!

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most: "When I die, I will dig my way up out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs. There were also strange sounds at all hours. The man was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.
One day, he died abruptly under strange circumstances, and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, his wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: "Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? This man practiced black magic and stated that when he died, he ! would dig his way up out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let the old guy dig. I had him buried upside down."