Medical Miracle.

An 80 year woman married an 85-year-old man. After about six months together, the woman wasn't feeling well and she went to her doctor.



The doctor examined and said, "Congratulations Mrs. Jones, you're going to be a mother."



"Get serious doctor, I'm 80."



"I know," said the doctor, "This morning, I would have said it was impossible, but this afternoon you are a medical miracle."



"I'll be darned," she replied and stormed out of the office. She walked down the hall and around the corner to where the telephones were. In a rage, she dialed her husband. 


"Hello" she heard in his familiar halting voice.



She screamed, "You rotten SOB. You got me pregnant!"



There was a pause on the line. Finally, her husband answered, "Who's calling please?."

Tech Support

Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.



Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."



Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"



Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."

Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."



Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it.



Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"

Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."



Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "O! k."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."



Customer: "Now what do I do?"

Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"

Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"

Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."

Customer: "How do you spell that?"



Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"