Sparrow.

Once upon a time, there was a nonconformist sparrow who decided to not fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather had turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to fly south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings, and he fell to earth nearly frozen solid, landing in a barnyard.
A cow passed by where the sparrow had fallen and crapped on the little bird. The sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings! Warm and happy and able to breath, the sparrow started to sing. Just then, a large cat came by and heard the chirping. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.
The moral of the story: Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy; everyone who gets you out of crap is not necessarily your friend; and if you're warm and happy in a pile of crap, you might just want to keep your mouth shut.

Germs.

Teacher- What are the people of turkey called ?
Student- I don't know.
Teacher- They are called Turks.
Teacher- What are the people of Germany called ?
Student- They are called Germs.....