50 Fun Things To Do at Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I have! n't seen you in so long!..." etc.
14. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
15. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"
16. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
17. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away.
19. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
20. Play soccer with a group of friend, using the entire store as your playing field.
21. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!" Put M&M's on layaway.
22. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
23. Set up a tent in the camping department;
24. tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
25. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
26. Ask other customers if they! have any Grey Poupon.
27. Drape a blanket around your shoul! ders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman.
28. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
29. TP as much of the store as possible.
30. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
31. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
32. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
33. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
34. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
35. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
36. Take bets on the battle described above.
37. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
38. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
39. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
40. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. Attempt to fit others! into very large gym bags.
41. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
42. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
43. Two words: "Marco Polo." Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
46. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
47. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
48. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
49. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.
50. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

Inspirational Posters

Sayings That Should Be On Those Office Inspirational Posters:

1. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
2. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
3. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
4. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
5. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.
6. Plagiarism saves time.
7. If at first you don't succeed, try management.
8. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
9. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
10. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
12. Never! underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
13. We waste time so you don't have to.
14. Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
15. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
16. A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
17. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
18. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
19. Succeed in spite of management.
20. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

Health - Important Tips

Answer the phone by LEFT ear .

Do not drink coffee TWICE a day.

Do not take pills with COOL water.

Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm.

Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume.

Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night.

Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS .

Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time.

Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning .

Do not lie down immediately after taking medic! ine before sleeping.

When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times.

Forward this to those whom you CARE about .

India Shines

This is not a story but a true incident that happened in USA.
An Indian man walked into a bank in New York City one day and asked for the loan officer.



He told the loan officer that he was going to India on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000.



The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan. The Indian man handed over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produced the title and everything checked out.



The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan.



The bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parked it there...



Two weeks later, the Indian returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest, which came to $15...41.



The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000"



The Indian replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'"



Ah, the brain of the Indians..... This is why India is shining. .

Top One liners!

1. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
2. Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
3. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more(friendship or money)
4. Death is hereditary.
5. An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
6. Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
7. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
8. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
9. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
10. Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
11. Well done is better than well said.
12. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody islooking.
13. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
14. I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
15. Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
16. I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.
17. Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go anywhere!
18. Love thy neighbour, but be sure her husband is away.
19. Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding.
20. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
21. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
22. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
23. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlookedsomething.
24. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
25. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
26. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
27. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
28. Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls.
29. Intelligence is not trying.

Ghosts !

Flowers die..........,
Stories end......... .,
Songs fade........ ..,
Memories are forgotten... .,
All things come to an end,
But people like you,
Always remain forever,
B'cozzzzzzzzzzzz.....
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GHOSTs NEVER DIE......!!! !
Hahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

100 Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Woman

1. Working / Earning not mandatory.
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.
3. We don't have to bother on mobile bills.
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying.
5. We don't have to stand on the queue to get tickets.
6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class.
7. We don't have to worry about the purse when we shop with men.
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work.
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates.
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips.
11. We always get place to sit when using public transport.
12. Easy to get a ride.
13. Men hold the door open for us.
14. Jewels looks good on us.
15. We lie better.
16. We're better manipulators.
17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves - you guys get the couch.
18. We always have food in the fridge.
19. We don't worry about losing our hair.
20. We always get to choose the movie.
21. We don't have to mow the lawn.
22. We don't have to take out the garbage.
23. We don't have to paint the house or walls.
24. If we need to our boyfriends just a missed call is enough.
25. We can easily show our disappointments or disapprovals.
26. We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole.
27. Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold.
28. Even strangers shows care if we are in trouble. Men have to manage themselves.
29. Men are like tiles, lay 'em right the first time you can walk all over em forever.
30. We can cry in public. Men cant.
31. We don't feel shy to cry.
32. We don have worry if we lose the fight.
33. Sweat is sexy on us.
34. We never run out of excuses.
35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often.
36. We can borrow clothes or accessories from our friends.
37. We get expensive jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.
38. We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time because men screw up so often.
39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner.
40. Women are cleaner.
41. We know how to make up stories.
42. We're better arguers.
43. We don't always have to think with our genitals.
44. We don't have to worry if we are plump. Men still like us.
45. We're better parents.
46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night.
47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing, and able men.
48. We're flexible.
49. When women get upset, we don't destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can.
50. Easy to make friendships.
51. Much easy to get a date.
52. Men have to be in uniform.
53. We can do makeup anywhere.
54. If we do heavy purchase we don't have to carry those things. Men are there.
55. It generally takes us less to get drunk.
56. We have a higher tolerance to pain.
57. We often get to cut in line (Queue).
58. Most women actually look good in short shorts - men DON'T.
59. Better tips.
60. Women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, it's rather disgusting.
61. We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarrass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public.
62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank heaven for long pants and perfume!
63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want.
64. We don't have excessive amounts of body hair.
65. We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet.
66. We don't bother if our IQ level is less. Just a smile is enough.
67. We are always smart.
68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return.
69. We don't have to lie to boast ourselves better.
70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us.
71. Women sweat less.
72. Women smell better.
73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards.
74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats.
75. We don get charged if we tease men in public.
76. We can be late to the office.
77. We don't get embarrassed when buying tampons.
78. We're better gossips.
79. We have better fashion sense.
80. We're better shoppers.
81. We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man.
82. Our friends don't pick on us if we aren't sleeping with anyone.
83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you).
84. We're all sitting on a gold mine - we know it and use it to our extreme advantage.
85. We don't have to drive when on a date.
86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just ugly.
87. We can search for hours together in a shop not necessary to buy.
88. Don't have to maintain great physique.
89. Women look better naked.
90. We know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to dancing.
91. When women are short, we're petite. When men are short, they're just short.
92. Women do less time for violent crimes.
93. Women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up.
94. There are many hands to lift us when we slip to ground. Poor men they have to get up on their own.
95. And we don't have to feel shy about falling down.
96. Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep ok then bye".
97. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood.
98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves.
99. Women are sexier.
100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it.........!