Why Bill Gates planned to sell micrOsoft ???

Banta had recently purchased a new computer with Microsoft Windows as the O/S and was unhappy with the same and writes a letter to Bill Gates, regarding the same.

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child has learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer' when you will provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates: Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

Regards,
Banta

Poetic Resignation !!!

Employee Resignation
The name is good,

the brand is big But the work I do is that of a pig

The work or the brand;

what is my way?

I don't know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way Nobody will care to hear what I say My will be NULL,

they wont change their way I don't know if I should stay.

The project is in a critical stage But to do good work,

this is the age

This dilemma is killing me day by day I don't know if I should stay.

The money is good,

the place is great But the development is at a very small rate

Should I go for the work,

or wait for pay I don't know if I should stay!

The managers don't know what they talk

The team doesn't know where they walk

That's a bad situation, what say?

I don't know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place

But what if I get the same disgrace

I can't keep switching day by day

I don't know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less

Then why have this unnecessary mess

No more will I walk their way,

It's all done, I won't stay.

Thanks & Regards

Employee

**********************************************
Manager Response

***********************************************
Reply: What I want to say?
The decision is good or decision is bad

Only God knows still I am glad

Keep moving in life that is what I can say

If you feel right go in the same way

May god give you the work,

the challenge you want

Anyway there is always a second chance

Chances are there,

grab them snatch them

That is what I can say

Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more....

That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)

From my experience I can tell you

Being in software development is like taking hell out of you

You are frustrated since you have no quality work

And you were frustrated because you had quantity work

It's always like that previous job was better than the current one

And expects the new job will be much better than this one

But what you get is a frustration level up to sun

Than you will again send the resignation like this one

This is all what I want to say

Have you completed all the formalities?

Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)

Once done you can take all your cash

But don't refer others as they will follow you're a*s.

At last I appreciate your contribution to the company

Even though there was not any....

You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI

Don't feel shy

As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi....

That is all what I want to say.

Thanks & Regards

Manager

Reasons to Allow Drinking at Work !!!

It's an incentive to show up.
It reduces stress.
It leads to more honest communication.
It reduces complaints about low pay.
It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
It encourages carpooling.
It increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't realize it.
It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
It makes fellow employees look better.
It makes conversations easier.
It promotes honesty.
It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
Suddenly, farting during a meeting isn't so emb! arrassing.

100 Cool Things About Being A Guy

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.

3. You know stuff about tanks.

4. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

5. Monday Night Football.

6. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.

7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

8. You can open all of your own jars.

9. Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.

10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at everyshot of somebody crying.

12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

13. All your orgasms are real.

14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

15. Guy in hockey masks don't attack you ... unless you're playing hockey.

16. You don't have to lug a bag full of stuff around everywhere you go.

17. You understand why the movie "Stripes" is funny.

18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

19. Your last name stays put.

20. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that every one secretly hates you.

22. You can kill your own food.

23. The garage is all yours.

24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

25. You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment."

26. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

27. You never have to clean a toilet.

28. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.

29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

32. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

33. The National College Cheerleading Championship

34. None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

35. You don't have to shave below your neck.

36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

37. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.

38. You can write your name in the snow.

39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.

40. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

41. Chocolate is just another snack.

42. You can be president.

43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

44. Flowers fix everything.

45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

48. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

51. Foreplay is optional.

52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.

54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.

56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

58. You don't give a rat's butt if anyone notices your new haircut.

59. You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without everthinking, "He must be mad at me."

60. The world is your urinal.

61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you.

62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.

63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

64. One mood, all the time.

65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look likehim.

66. You never have to drive on to another gas station because "this one's just too gross."

67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

68. You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.

69. Same work...more pay!

70. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

72. Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.

73. You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back.

74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's populationin 15 tries, at least in theory.

75. You don't mooch off of other's desserts.

76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

77. The remote control is yours and yours alone.

78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

79. ESPN's SportsCenter.

80. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.

82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

84. You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell yourother friends you've changed.

86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."

88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.

89. Princess Di's death was just another obituary.

90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in themood.

92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

93. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.

94. New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.

95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

97. Not liking a person won't stop you from having great sex with them.

98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"

99. Baywatch

100. There's always a game

MAN vs WOMAN

Man vs Woman

- A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he needs.

- A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item that she does not need.

- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

- To be happy with a man, you must love him a little and understand him a lot.

- To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

- Women somehow deteriorate overnight.

- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

- A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.

- Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die.

- Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

- A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument !!!

Know the truth !!!

*The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages,mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. ***

*Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, *

*the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside.. *

***"See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful" ***

*This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him.*

*Every one started murmuring something or other about this son."*

*****This guy seems to be a krack.." newly married Anup whispered to his wife. ***

*Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window.The Thirty year old son , filled with joy " see dad, how beautiful the rain is .." *

***Anup's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit. ***

*Anup ," cant you see its raining, you old man, if ur son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum..and dont disturb public henceforth" **

**The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied " we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes..

Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."

***What we see may not always be right !!*

Hence try to know the truth before you react.*

Money !!!

It can buy a house
But not a home
It can buy a clock
But not time
It can buy you a position
But not respect
It can buy you a bed
But not sleep
It can buy you a book
But not knowledge
It can buy you medicine
But not health
It can buy you blood
But not life
So you see money isn't everything
And it often causes pain and suffering
I tell you this because I am your friend
And as your friend I want to
Take away your pain and suffering!!
So
Send me all your money
And I will suffer for you!
Cash only please >

Priya Again !!!

*Very Shocking..... *

This is a story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Chandigarh. Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck. She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone. You used to be never found without her without hand phone. In fact she also Changed her cell connection from Airtel to Hutch, so that both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost. She used to spend half of the day talking with Shankar. Priya's family knew about their relationship. Shankar was very close to Priya's family as well. (Just imagine their love).

Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away Please burn me with my hand phone" she also said the same thing to her Parents.

After her death, people couldn't carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so But still cant everybody had tried to carry the body, the results were the Same. Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who Can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here." Then her Friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the Casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily And they then carried her into the van. All of us were shocked.

Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away.

After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom

.

.

.

.

.

Shankar:...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Don't tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her."

Her mother replied..... "You come home first, I wanna tell you something Very important."

After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.

Shankar thinks That they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "don't try to fool Me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop this Nonsense". Then they show him the original death certificate to him.

They gave him proof to make him believe.

(Shankar started to sweat)

He said... "It's not true.

We spoke yesterday.

She still calls me.

Shankar was shaking. Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang." See this is from Priya, see this...." He showed the phone to priya's family. All of them told him to answer. He talked using the loudspeaker mode.All of them heard his conversation. Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim Card since it is nailed inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked For the same person's (Who can speak with the soul of deal persons) help again.

He brought his Master to solve this matter. He & his master worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them...""""""""Hutch has the best coverage." Where ever you go, our network follows!!!"